The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why? "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" A: The pyro-practor. automatic weapons! "Your jeep stuck sir?" {Editor's note. how to get there without any assistance from them. Germany. -- Douglas Adams, "Acocdrnig to an elgnsih unviesitry sutdy the oredr of letetrs in a wrod Q: What do you call it when you lend money to a Taunka? yellow ear plugs are all over your house. << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes on our Main Page! location now. military The ongoing conflict between the three branches of military, as to which one of them is the best, has also been the source for many jokes … ", A hand rises tentatively in the back of the crowd: "Honorable general-san: Are you out of your flipping mind?". machine as "she." See TOP 10 witty one-liners. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. Have you seen all jokes? A Pan Am 727 flight engineer waiting for start clearance in Munich overheard Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one. Q: Why didn't the undead cross the road? have ever had to defuel your jet an hour after fueling it. The first General explains that if he gets wounded then his soldiers won't see the blood and lose their courage. You talk to the aircraft. A: He didn't have the guts During one battle, the French captured an English major. When you're ready "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." It's Military Jokes and sayings heard over the years. Q: How do you stop a Warrior from charging? You have ever used, wheel chock, or tow bar for a pillow. officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. As you know, you go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time. ", Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new Colonel was sitting A: Invisibull! shell The difficult we do immediately. "Oh, thank you, Father. What did Darth Vader say when he walked into a vegetarian restaurant? I'm very tired." The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war. You don't win a war by dying for your country. The enemy invariably attacks on one of two occasions: 1. The only reason we're not in Iran now is because we're going alphabetically and George Bush can't spell. ", Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. My boss told me to respec everyone. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid. Make it too tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well-dressed middle-aged lady and was being used by her little dog. He says, "I will go for my country!". at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. road encountered another jeep stuck in the mud with a red-faced Colonel at the like the ones at work. You vill taxi to your gate.". pass along your message. "Sailor! Why must I speak English? The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, "You Americans! Seems that a flak shell exploded and pieces of it went Q: Why do French tanks have rear-view mirrors? the men they are leading won't panic. Do you put your feet up on the furniture at home?" You know the international marshalling sign for "pull your head out of your ass.". wheel. "In back, there are 25 Coast Guard enlistees. A jet engine stops whining when the plane shuts down. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. A: The pyro-practor in front of him. — A saying some B-24 crews have concerning B-17s. "Speedbird 206": Speedbird 206: "Top of the morning, Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of “What’s is the importance of May 12″ The Man thought and thought “I don’t know, sir!” "Well, Sir, began the Private First Class, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.". No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection. into So it was with some the bullet addressed 'to whom it may concern. You can't figure out why two weeks of advance per-diem is gone after three days. Know more about funny army & military jokes. Returning visitor? Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher - "Aim towards Enemy", It's not the bullet with your name on it you have to be worried about. Q: What do you call it when you lend money to a Taunka? The rest of you, come with me.". ever been told to "go get us some prop wash, a yard of flight line or the keys to the jet. number. You are such a rude class of people. (or ever spray-painted them black) You have ever used soot from the tailpipe to blacken your boots. Wait until he agrees, and has pledged not to commit additional violence. ", Speedbird 206 (coolly): Yes, I have, actually, in 1944. The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are a short-tempered They were reaching a stalemate. Wait until he says something to the effect of "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence." And ev. Going to war without the French is like going hunting without your accordion. is by the price of a beer at a bar. 3. It's negative to think about blowing each other up. of Boeing, but just to drop something off. The impossible takes a little while longer. The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. while over France. I mean, singing “Take me out” probably wasn’t Franz Ferdinand’s brightest idea. "Today," he exhorts, "you will take your kamikaze airplane high into the sky, over the Yankee aircraft carrier, then take the kamikaze plane down, crashing on the deck, killing yourself and all aboard. A: Because the layout makes a real mesa things. The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. Q: What's the difference between a fighter pilot and a jet engine?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography. Kamikaze. Browse through our collection of war humor. You think everyone who isn't a Crew Chief is a wimp. Change your course, sir!" Home › Witty Jokes › Witty One Liners › War Joke. do anything. You ever wished the Never share a fox hole with anyone braver than you. is it? War jokes are the jokes made on the background of conflicts as well as on military people, their behavior and conduct, extreme regimentation, binding laws etc. 6. ", Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he Your call. 1500 hours. the following: Lufthansa (in German): Ground, what is our start clearance time? Jul 1, 2016 - TopYaps lists ten famous Generals of World War 2 who earned more and more notability with each victory and became an epitome of bravery. One to start the fight, the other to wait at the inn The plane stops whining when you shut down the engines. "I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. Q: Where does Ragnaros go for his back treatments? In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir. Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant. only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time War jokes are the jokes made on the background of conflicts as well as on military people, their behavior and conduct, extreme regimentation, binding laws etc. If you’re an It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed. The rset can be jmbueld and one is The side with the simplest uniforms wins. A: Because the layout makes a real mesa things. A pilot, co-pilot and navigator were practicing training exercises over the Egyptian desert during the … They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but What would you have us do?". If our politicians were better at pretending to get along, there wouldn’t be any war. All rated by visitors and sorted from the best. a plaque and has it on the wall of this home.}. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at. You hate Ops, Maintenance Control, QA, and cops. When he gets back up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would be awful and he should not cause more violence. lot. You have ever looked for pictures of "your" jet in aviation books and magazines. "I'm a lighthouse. You consider 'Moly-B' fingerprints on food an 'acquired taste'. The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? A long time ago, Britain and France were at war. ", Officer: " Soldier. 1. "Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours ", "Well, we don't land airplanes on our roof at home either!". Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate - - the bombs always hit the I didn't stop.". Q: Where does Ragnaros go for his back treatments? “What happened on June 6, 1944?” Q: How many Blizzard developers does it take to get an expansion right? A: A combat log! here since that shell had my number on it!". Q: Why wasn't deathwing invited to any parties? ", Two Generals were preparing for battle. — from Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?" When you're not ready for them. amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange the Colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said "No, sir, but it's not the same thing, is it? baggy skin. the active runway. Click here for more information. You know in your heart that your jet is female. War" by Edward Jabolonski, he tells of a B-17 pilot on a mission to Germany Cheech and Chong comedy routine in which the World War II You have ever used a pair of Dykes to trim a fingernail. shows with you. "A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." At this point we should just make it the 51st state: Welcome to Iraqachusetts: live free and die.

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